The Top 50 Worst Heavy Metal Bands Of All Time: #28 – Bongripper

Bongripper – ‘Satan Worshipping Doom’ this band touts themselves.

bongripper 150x150 The Top 50 Worst Heavy Metal Bands Of All Time: #28   Bongripper

Bongripper

Doom Metal from Chicago, Illinois, that is the most absurd musical outfit to bow down at the mighty Black Sabbath altar of Tony, Ozzy, Geezer and Bill, ever.

The extreme scene of Stoner Doom has it’s penultimate band in Bongripper.

Forget Electric Wizard and Sheavy.

Forget the vocal warbles that define the we’re-so-serious Cathedral or the we’re so holy fellow Chicagoans Trouble.

This is sludge Doom central.

‘Hate Ashbury’ and ‘Heroin’ are some of the latest albums of this band. Do I like all this bashing, crashing cymbal slashing insanity?

No.

Bongripper have no idea what a song is.

Their monkey brains seem to have Black Sabbath’s Volume Four in an endless loop that is only stopped by a nice shrink doctor’s thorazine injection, which I hope is coming soon for these hopeless Aholes.

Oh, and where’s the vocals?

Imagine the great Tony Iommi playing the riff to ‘Paranoid’ fifty times too slow, fifty times in a row, while Ozzy Osbourne sits in the corner bound and gagged with duct tape over his mouth.

If you are happen to be smiling as you imagine this scenario then I recommend that you go out and shoot up a few bags of heroin; throw on a Bongripper album and reach for that pitiful piece of sh*t guitar that you have collecting dust in the corner; the one with the one string and plug it into your hooptey car battery and burn for all I care.

Sabbath  *^&$#

Yeah right.

– Rich Castle

5 Responses to The Top 50 Worst Heavy Metal Bands Of All Time: #28 – Bongripper

  1. cjl says:

    I agre rish u r the man. u no what i tallembout !

    long live clasic rock!!!! METAL!!!

    can u plz make your’e font biggest as can be?

  2. STRONGHOLDBASS says:

    wow rich castle that is so correct!!!
    that band is too slow!!! There are no vocals like black sbabath (666 !!! METAL FOR EVER BLOOD AND GUITAR XD !!! 666)
    and tony iommi….. what a best guitar and this is incredible… after this band… everything other band is just BAD and FORSAKE QUICKLY because extunguish slow music :(

    seriously mate. bongripper? bongripper made it to your WORST HEAVY METAL BANDS list?
    what is this? where are you from? why are you doing this to yourself?
    heavy metal? really? so the word bong stands there for no reason whatsoever.
    and their music is just the incarnation of sobriety right?
    bongripper is the most heavy metal band ever bro… they’re better than metallica, whitechapel and norma jean together….

  3. spiralend314 says:

    You, sir, are a fucking idiot. Where are the vocals? You must have confused the idea of music. Throughout history instrumental music has been used to create mood from sonics, which has seen some of the most talented musicians to date. So, go listen to you top 40 metal with a catchy hook and it’s radio friendly 4 minute songs you fucking douche bag.

  4. thissiteisshit says:

    Dude, you are a moron. A moron who can’t understand art if it’s not on MTV. Bongripper have excelent songs, ok not heroin but still, satan worshipping doom is an AWESOME album. So, instead of criticising for free, you castle moron, get a life. If someday you’re able to create something as good as this guys do, let me know. Til then, you’d rather shut up

  5. thissiteisshit says:

    And about the vocals, you brainless monkey, there aren’t any and it’s great that way. People who like to listen to something unlike justin bieber (not like you) apreciatr it. Now go listen to some bon jovi shit and let people who listen to real METAL enjoy bongripper.

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